Jalagdril's Friend

St Alban’s cathedral felt rather cold and heartless as I wandered around its great halls, so I walked outside into the welcoming sun.  Once outside I made my way down the path that led into the church gardens.

The fresh air felt so much more alive than the cold, man-made stone building of the cathedral.  Somehow I knew that by finding the right place to sit I would be able to talk with my Friend. This was the reason I had flown to London following the esoteric work my friends and I had just completed in Paris.

The gardens felt welcoming, though all the seats were filled by office workers having their lunch. I needed a little privacy for this conversation, so I walked around, arms against my sides and with fingers pointing down towards the ground. I was waiting for the tell-tale energy to start flowing up into my fingers, the sign that I had found the right place. I had felt quite pleased to have discovered this technique a few days earlier.

Walking past an enclosed garden area I noticed the flow of energy into my fingers growing stronger and felt drawn to one of the seats in the area. Walking towards it I felt some dismay to see cigarette butts lying all around, because it wasn’t the cleanest place to meditate. Nonetheless, the peaceful energy was there and so I sat down on the bench and closed my eyes.

As the stillness slowly deepened my heart opened and an inner voice said to me, “My son, you and I have much work to do. You will do the work, if you are willing and I will guide you in it. There is nothing to be afraid of in this work.” My Friend had been murdered near this area in a previous incarnation as St Alban and I had met a similar end in several lifetimes, so understood the reason for this reassurance.

As I listened to this inner voice the cathedral bells started to chime and an unseen bird began trilling joyfully in a nearby tree. There was a feeling of pure joy and fulfillment as the bird trilled and the bells gently tolled, as if in recognition of an eternal connection.

i really wanted to sit there in my Friend’s presence forever and asked him for a consistent way to make contact from now on. “Simply find the right space that allows for this silence and we will make contact” and he added that the work would take some time to unfold before I developed an overall picture of it.

As I sat there enjoying this deep rapport, my Friend encouraged me to move on and look around more of the area. Though reluctant to move out of this beautiful feeling my Friend prompted me again and so I stood up and slowly walked back towards the cathedral.

I noted how the deep stillness that had emerged from within my heart had also transformed everything I now looked upon, both inside and out. The sense of Presence was palpable.

Re-entering the cathedral I discovered a small, beautifully-lit chapel and walked down to the front aisle and sat down there. There was a wonderful display of flowers and lit candles here and they created a welcoming feeling which wasn’t present in other areas of the church.

After a few minutes spent looking around the chapel I closed his eyes. I then felt moved to kneel down and quietly express my contrition for all the weaknesses I had ever acted upon. Then an inner voice gently offered directions on how to improve my relationships. I felt my regrets fall away and there was no sense of judgement from the infinitely gentle voice that spoke to me.  

As I came out of this conversation I wondered if it had been my Friend who had continued talking with me, but realized on looking up that it had been someone else. Over on the left hand side of the altar area there was a very simple wooden Madonna and Child statue and the whole area was radiating with the same energy I felt within me.

I then realized that the Mother had spoken to me in Her gentle, silent way, just as She had revealed Herself in Notre Dame Cathedral. Taking a few moments to absorb this grace I then left the chapel and as I walked out saw that it was called the "Lady Chapel". I noted several links between St Albans and Notre Dame, such as the Fleur de Lys images on the floors and the style of the arches.

As I traveled back to London there was a feeling of being deeply grounded and ready for a new life.